'She made $20,000 on her wedding': Vigilante bridesmaid exposes bride who used a fake cash bar to hoodwink their entire wedding into paying for their honeymoon

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    Plant - r/AITAH Posted by u/did_i_stu_stutter 14 hours ago AITAH for exposing my friend's reason for a cash bar at her wedding?
  • 02
    Font - I (40sF) have a friend (40sF) who recently got married, I am close enough to her to have been in her wedding. When we were planning her wedding with her, she kept mentioning how she was on a budget. Thankfully she has connections and was able to put together an amazing dream wedding within her budget. With a guest list of about 200 people, they invited 300 but 200 RSVP'd yes.
  • 03
    Font - Her venue was a gift from her uncle who owns a wedding venue in New England. Her catering was gifted to her from a friend who owns an amazing restaurant. Her flowers were a gift from her aunt who is a florist. Thier rings were heavily discounted from a friend who works for a jewelry company and let her use their discount, so they paid cost. Her DJ and photographer were also gifts, as one of the
  • 04
    Font - members of the wedding party has a family event entertainment business. I guess what I'm trying to convey is that a lot of her wedding was gifted to her. Her largest expenses with the wedding were her dress and their rings. No shade, the wedding was amazing, she looked stunning, and everyone had a fantastic time.
  • 05
    Font - At the wedding itself, there was a cash bar. The bride and groom aren't big drinkers, so I can totally get why they wouldn't want to fund anyone else's total buzz on their dime, especially when they were trying so hard to save for their honeymoon. After their wedding they had saved enough to be able to honeymoon for a month in Italy.
  • 06
    Font - Roughly two months after their wedding, she and I got together for dinner. She showed me pictures from her honeymoon, and they were gorgeous! I told her again how happy I was for her, them, and we ordered. About halfway through dinner she dropped a bomb on me, and I was absolutely stunned, actually I was p ssed.
  • 07
    Font - She told me that a family member of hers owns a liquor store and gifted all the alcohol for her wedding to them, all she had to do was find someone to be the bartender. She asked one of the event bartenders at her uncle's venue if they wanted to make some extra cash. She offered them 20 an hour plus tips and then told all of her guests that the bar was cash, and they used that money towards their honeymoon fund. Her reception lasted roughly 4 hours.
  • 08
    Font - I went up to bar a few times, and because she set the prices as standard, I probably spent about $100 on four or five drinks plus tips. With 200 guests, some were drinking more, some were drinking less. If I use my amount and average it out, she made roughly $20,000 on her wedding! That doesn't include the gifts people gave her! I personally gave her a $200 check.
  • 09
    Font - check. I realize these number are speculation, but that's all I have to go on since she didn't give me an actual amount. She did say that the bar money covered a lot of the honeymoon. I was seeing red, I got up from the table and told her that since she made so much money off of me, she could cover my dinner. Then I texted the bridal party group chat and told them what she told me. The chat blew up. I wasn't the only one that was p ssed.
  • 10
    Font - This is where I think I might be TAH. I didn't have to tell everyone else what she said, and I didn't have to walk out of dinner. AH or not, I know that I probably can't look past this and will not continue this friendship, but I also don't know if I should try to mitigate the fall out with the rest of the friend group because it wasn't my information to share. So please tell me AITAH?
  • 11
    Hair - TLDR: Friend used a fake cash bar to get friends and family to fund her honeymoon for one month in Italy.
  • 12
    Font - 1. How does she have so many connections? Both families are successful. If this had been her first wedding her parents would have paid for the whole thing as a gift, although they would have also used the same connections to price it down.
  • 13
    Font - 2. What did she do as I left the restaurant? She followed me to the door trying to explain, I was so upset that I just kept telling her that I didn't want to hear what she had to say. She couldn't leave with me because like I said, I left her with the bill.
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    Font - 3. Was the family member who donated the liquor ok with her charging? I don't have the answer to this. Like I said I didn't listen to her explanation so maybe they were and maybe they weren't. Your guess is as good as mine.
  • 15
    Font - I think I received a lot of great insight, even from those calling me TAH. I need space from our friendship, but I don't know that it is completely over. Thank you again.
  • 16
    Font - hardgumy 14 hr. ago NTA: This "friend" of yours is pretty much manipulating everybody at the wedding into paying for her honeymoon (when many of already you spent pretty big sums of money on gifts for the scum), quite selfishly.
  • 17
    Font - did_i_stu_stutter OP. 14 hr. ago Yeah, in addition to my gift and "bar tab" I also paid $300 for my bridesmaid dress. I didn't include that in the post, because I think it's pretty standard for bridesmaids to buy their own dresses, but I was still pissed.
  • 18
    Font - UhaRugger1 11 hr. ago Dude, add in everything else that you paid for that wedding as well. I have spent close to $1,000 being a bridesmaid between all the different events etc. If I was one of the friends, who was also a vendor, I would be seething right now.
  • 19
    Human body - Boogerbiter 10 hr. ago She did say the bartender got tips but she really shafted everyone else.
  • 20
    Font - Commercial Elk9954 8 hr. ago She essentially stole from you. I know that's not exactly what happened, but she took money under false pretenses. She lied and took something that wasn't meant to be hers. And for what? To fund an extravagant vacation? How tacky.
  • 21
    Rectangle - sicofonte 8 hr. ago One month honeymoon at the expenses of her friends and acquaintances. People can be so selfish.
  • 22
    Font - hardgumy 14 hr. ago (add) I can understand why anybody would (I would) get pissed enough by this to tell everybody and leave. Reply Share... 105 did_i_stu_stutter OP 14 hr. ago Thank you. I just feel like I could have handled it sightly more diplomatically. You know?
  • 23
    Font - ben_db 4 hr. ago I think doing what she did would have been acceptable... just, if she had been open about it at the time. Told the guests that the alcohol was a gift and that they can choose what to contribute if anything towards it, knowing it was paying for the honeymoon. But doing it in secret is disgusting.
  • 24
    Rectangle - renee30152 3 hr. ago I agree. And a month in Italy? That is one vacation that was funded by lying to her friends and family. I would be upset too and feel used. Yikes. It makes you wonder what else she was lying about.
  • 25
    Font - Fast Fee517 14 hr. ago NTA. So many people contributed services and things for the wedding, but then she charged premium prices for a cash bar. Not cool on her part
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